ADDICTION

Addiction comes in many different flavors.  Drugs, eating disorders, behavioral, alcohol, and the list goes on and on.  I have found that in my recovery it sneaks into peoples lives very differently because the adversary knows the weaknesses of each individual.  Everyone is tempted.  Not everyone will react to the temptations but it is Satan's goal to get you to cave.  Even if it is one time.  For me it was a variety of addictions.  When I was in my teenage years it was chemical addictions to escape and about the same time is when the pornography addiction kicked in.  Here is something that was key for me to realize looking back, pornography is not necessarily looking at naked people having intercourse.  Pornography comes in a wide variety of avenues.  It comes in the form of music, TV programs, video games, apps (these are huge for pornography now and I will go into those specifically), internet and magazines.  Mine started with lingerie magazines (Victoria Secret) and progressed from there.  Everything seemed so innocent at first.  It was about the time that I was on my mission when I realized that it was getting to be "a bad habit".  For me this progressed and even after being married thinking the desire to go online would die it only got worse.  Two years into our marriage my poor wife found out and I confessed to her.  We went to the Bishop and he told me to pray and read my scriptures.  I think that may have lasted about 6 months.  From then until December 5, 2013 I hid the addiction like my life depended on it because it did.  Pornography addiction is so secretive.  One can think that it only effects the individual viewing it but that is just another lie that the adversary would like you to believe.  Stats are as high as 80% of the male population being addicted to pornography.  For the person saying that is not true or I can view it and not be an addict then you need to take a long hard look in the mirror.  Pornography addiction will consume an individual.  I know this by first hand experience.  It completely consumed mine.  Everyone in recovery with me says the same thing.  Is everyone in recovery wrong?  No.  We all covered our tracks, looking for opportunities to be isolated.  This addiction is so dangerous.  You may laugh at that but it is killing our society.  I have several books that go into the addiction itself but would recommend "He Restoreth My Soul" by Dr. Don Hilton who is an inspiration to me and one of the smartest men I have every heard speak.  He is a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Later Day Saints and a famous neurosurgeon.  He understands what the addiction does to the brain.  He understands what it does to the soul and what it takes to get out of the addiction.

It was just after the 5th of December last year when I realized this is not "a bad habit" but an addiction that I was hopeless against.  It was at that point when I went to my first meeting.  Addiction Recovery Program by LDS Family Services.  It has changed my life.  It has changed my life because it is focused on Christ and that was the only thing that could pull me out of the addiction that I was in.  I have had a lot of other influences, LifeStar and Maurice Harker have helped me in ways that have propelled me forward in my recovery but nothing else has helped me get to where I am at quicker than a loving Heavenly Father.

Brandon