My Daily Routines:
- Prayer - I pray at least twice a day on my knees. I think that prayer is one of the most important things for me. It connects me to the one who has helped me most in my recovery. When I pray I focus on the things I am grateful for. Praying allows me to receive the promptings of the spirit. It helps me focus on what I am doing here on earth and allows me to realize that I am just here to pass the test. Most importantly it allows me to turn my will over to Heavenly Father. Turning my will over each morning changes me each day. At night I check in with Him. I tell him about the day and I am accountable each day to Him. He is the best accountability partner. He knows my heart, He knows my thoughts, He knows my desires. I am so grateful for prayer. I find myself at work praying all the time and even when in traffic. I will say that with faith I have had all my prayers answered. I know my Heavenly Father is there for me.
- Journal - I never thought a journal would be so beneficial but it is. I took the advice from a good friend who made the suggestion of doing a gratitude journal. By writing the things that I am grateful for it changes me. It helps me focus on a different outlook in life. There are times when I write how the day was or special experiences that I had but I still write about the things I am grateful for that day. Writing is a great avenue to express emotions. Each day when I write I also note how many days of sobriety that I have. I typically write the day after so that I make sure my days of sobriety are accurate. My journal has become something that I look forward to and I feel my attitude change each day when I write.
- Scriptures - My commute to work is about 40 min in the morning and can be up to an hour coming home. I have been using this time to listen to the scriptures. I love being able to put it on shuffle and listening to the different versus and chapters that bring me closer to my Savior. This has become so important to me that I do this each day. Even if it ends up being for 5 minutes I still need it. The scriptures are part of putting on my armor. I have a love for the scriptures that I have never had before. I have become closer to my Father in Heaven by doing this each day and trying to understand the message. I listen to the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants. I enjoy listening to the war chapters and about the trials the saints faced. It helps me realize that we have our own challenges at this time. We are in a war and yes, we're being persecuted. There is so much peace in reading the scriptures. I love feeling the peace.
- Books - I love reading now. I love learning and growing when reading about anything that helps me grow either spiritually or intellectually. I was never much of a reader but find it very important for me to stay focused on my growth as an individual. I also find it very peaceful when I am reading. It is an opportunity for me to fill my mind with positive thoughts and then create positive actions. The reading is essential. When I am reading I can understand more about the tools that help me in recovery, learn about gospel principles and I can feel the spirit.
- Email/Text - this was a regular for me when I first started into recovery. I would send Cherae an email every night and let her know how my day was going. I still check in with her each night. Checking in is vital. It allows me to show my emotion and let her know exactly where I am each day. This helps her so she can see I am being transparent and it helps me knowing that each night I GET to check in with my wife. I do not want to disappoint her. I also don't want to disappoint my Father in Heaven. I have started this routine again so that she knows exactly where I am at since she does not read my journal and see how many days of sobriety that I have. So, it is either a text or an email and I also let her know how important she is in my life and how much I love her. It is hard for her to understand that I have always loved her. Yes my feelings were masked but I have always loved her. It makes me feel good knowing that I can now say without any feelings being masked that I love her so much and that she is so special to me. She always has been and always will be. Anyway, a text or email each day helps me focus on her. She is part of my recovery.
- Find ways to create safety for my wife each day. This is new for me. I have just changed up my dailies this week and I want to do this each day. Ask myself "how can I battle to create safety for my wife today". Yes, it is a battle and I realize that I have many battles ahead of me. I think that everyone does in life but it is important for me to work my backside off so that she feels safe around me. There are many times when she does not feel that so I am going to look at the train wreck I have created and fix it one piece at a time. Creating safety for my wife is important for me and for her. I know that as I continue to do this it will help our relationship.
The dailies keep me in check a lot. I also want to share what my check ins are with my wife each day so hopefully it will help others. This is not rocket science, it is just being open. Again, this works for me and if you end up putting a twist on it that is great if it works for you. I check in with 5 categories; Physically - I state how I am feeling physically. I could be tired or hungry or I could be sore from falling in a man hole (that really did happen), Emotionally - this one is important because it is when I realize that my emotions are off that is when I am being attacked. Understanding this helps me recognize when my wife or kids are under attack as well. Emotions are huge. It is so important to realize where I am at emotionally at every hour of every day. This is how the Adversary gets his foot in the door. Spiritually - looking for the spiritual effects of the day or revelation or just an experience is important for me because it means that I am connected with God. This is so important for me to know where I stand with Him and for me to realize that it is a gift for me to be here on this earth. I feel the spirit when I am close to it so I look for it at all times during the day. Yes, even at work, on the commute and all other times. Sexually - this is where I tell my wife if I have had any slips, thoughts or temptations for the day. I also let her know in this category if I have done anything that my Father in heaven would be disappointed about. It helps me knowing that I have to report to my wife and if I have had a slip, she will know before I tell her. I believe that women are naturally connected with God and with the spirit much more than men. They know when something is off and can tell us before we even act out. Sorry guys, that is just a fact. Self Care - this is important because it means that I am taking time for myself. It means that I care enough about me that I am going to do something that is important for me each day. Some days are going for a bike ride with a friend and other days are reading a book or going on a date with my wife. It does not need to be something that I do alone. It is just important that I recognize that I am doing something that will benefit me for the day.
Daily routines and check ins are something that were taught to me by a good friend who helped me get on the path of recovery before I even started going to any classes. I am so thankful to him for getting me off on the right foot. However, it takes one to really let go and let God for recovery to happen. J and I were talking about this the other day. One can go to class to show their spouse they are interested in getting help. But 3/4 of the equation is really turning your life over to God. It is my humble opinion that one will not get any recovery without the spiritual help.
I fight for my wife's safety, I fight for her love. I fight for the love of my Father in Heaven and I fight to feel the spirit each day. I fight to help others along the way. I fight because I want my brother who just passed away to know I am finally on the right path I want him to know I love him and will work hard the rest of my life so that I can one day be with him.
Brandon
Thank you for sharing. I too find reading studying and focusing on the spiritual side to be of most worth. Being able to read about both sides has been of immeasurable help to me.
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