Christmas morning there was a knock on the door at 7 o'clock a.m. The kids raced to the door. They were so excited to see their Dad along with Nana and Papa. We made our way down to the basement and the kids opened their gifts. It was a humble christmas yet full of Christmas spirit. I had previously purchased a few gifts for Brandon that I hoped to have some sentimental value in the future. When all the kids were finished opening their gifts I gave Brandon his. His eyes filled with tears when I explained the meaning of the gifts. It warmed my heart to see his gratitude. We finished up with our little family traditions then headed to his parents house and enjoyed yet more Christmas cheer. It was time to head up to my parents house and I asked him if he'd like to join us. He was very torn. Wanting to go with us, but not having faced my family yet was a hesitating factor for him. I left with the kids and started on our merry way. I had the idea that Brandon would be close behind us. I didn't give it much thought and continued on. We were greeted at my parents with all my family there. It was good to feel myself and kids surrounded with the love that my family has for us. Shortly after our arrival the door bell rang and like all kids do they ran to open the door. I heard my kids happily saying "Daddy, Daddy" and I turned my head just in time to see Brandon walk into the family room. I was happy yet not surprised to see him there. My heart went out to him for the courage he must be relying on to face my family. They all greeted him with lengthy hugs, and lots of "We love you's". I hope that in those moments he felt the unconditional love they all had for him. We opened christmas presents and ate some lunch and then Brandon and I headed to my parents study to talk. I asked him what his thoughts and hopes were between us. He told me he knew that our family would be together and that things were going to work out. Tears started streaming down my face as I gently nodded my head and silently agreed with him. I then felt impressed to tell him that I will be there waiting for him when he is clean. Ive never seen him shed so many tears. I told him of my pleadings with my Heavenly Father and what the answers to those pleadings were. He continued to cry. In that moment I was again so greatly reassured by my Father in Heaven that everything would work out and that WE would be ok. I hugged him. I didn't plan it, and it caught both of us off guard but it was the most full of love hug I had ever experienced with him to that point in our lives. We continued to openly talk about our future together, felt the spirit confirm all that we had discussed, and shed many more tears. The Christmas I had dreaded and feared the most turned out to be the best Christmas I had ever experienced.
I fight for my kids, for Brandon, and for myself, to remain together as an eternal family
Lots of love,
Cherae
Great job to both of you and keep up the courageous journey. Your family is in my thoughts and prayers. I've wanted to call you Cherae but I don't have your number. Love Johnny
ReplyDeleteI have been having the same fight for 17 years now. Your blog has brought me such peace in the exact moment I needed it. I had given up hope that there was someone like me. That their struggle was like mine. As I read your first entry, I felt as if I was reading my story. I had my husband read it. "Are you sure this isn't about me?" We both kind of giggled. I was ready to start the process of divorce because I was sure that "working it out" was not possible. Thank you for giving me hope. Thanks for being just like me and willing to fight!
ReplyDeleteIt's my story too.. my husband is addicted.
DeleteIts been a year since I found out the same things about my husband. The wounds still feel as fresh as that day... I am having a really hard time grasping the idea of being able to say "five years ago" or " 10 years ago" etc. I don't feel hope.
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your experiences.