THE INTERNET

I was planning on writing on a different subject today but I feel that I need to write specifically on the internet and how it is in the process of destroying thousands of individuals and families.

 For me the internet was really up and running when I returned home from my mission. I remember how easily and readily the content was on the internet. It soon became something that was not a desire to seek out but a need. A fix. Pornography is a drug and if you are not familiar with its effects it is just as powerful as drugs that are taken by a drug addict. It was only at the computer that this content was available. It was free and nobody needed to know about it but me. It was easy to start hiding my tracks. It was not effecting anybody but me (so i thought). I think I can say this for all pornography addicts, I soon became really good at covering my tracks, making it seem as though nothing was going on, keeping this secret deep down inside because I was ashamed of what I was doing and what it was doing to me. This new avenue of viewing was destroying my life by changing my perspective in life and making me lose the focus on what mattered most. What matters most is validation from God and from NO other avenue or source that could potentially be available.

For those of you who are parents of children and youth I want to reach out to you. I want you to know that if you think for one second that your children are safe on sites that you think are safe you need to check again. Before I came clean and told my wife what I had done I was not even using a web browser to feed my addiction. Aps are littered with pornography, aps that teens are using all the time. Any social media site has pornography on it. If your loved one is spending too much time posting, and tweeting and pinning then you might want to check out their content. Aps are the main source of images and clips of pornography. These aps that are on the devices make the pornography available at any time in any location. With no protection on phones, tablets or other devices we are only asking for the pornography to find us because at some point it will.

So, for me to feel safe online I have several rules. At work my computer faces the door so anyone at any given moment can see what I am looking at. This is a small price to pay for me feeling safe. I subscribe to a web service call covenant eyes www.covenanteyes.com that sends a daily report to my wife showing everything I have looked at online each day. This brings me comfort knowing that this is going to her and it also brings her comfort knowing that she can see what is being viewed. I run Open DNS on my home router and K9 on my home devices. I don't get the computer out at home alone. Ever. I don't feel safe when I am doing that.  Creating safety is essential in recovery for the one recovering and the one who has been offended.

There are a ton of resources out there to help with keeping the use of the internet safe. The largest factor for me is actually getting the help needed so that I can be online and feel safe. Covenant Eyes is a Christian based company with the purpose of helping families feel safe online. The adversary has found a way into the home of the poor, rich, religious, young, old, male and female.  It is a growing problem and I am now doing everything to fight against it.  I know that hate is a very strong word but I hate what pornography has done to my life.  I hate the paths that I walked because of it.  I hate that I lost out on time spent with my children.  I hate everything about it.  Now, I have the opportunity to fight against it, and so I fight for my family, I fight to be safe online and I fight to help my family be safe online.  I fight to educate my kids so that they are aware of the dangers and the traps that the adversary sets out for the youth.  I fight to be close to my Savior.  I love him and his pure love will win every battle that I am faced with.

Brandon