TIME

     

        We all know the saying "Time heals all wounds", but have you ever really thought about that simple phrase.  I never have until recently.  In our society and in our ever present day and age we are a people of instant gratification.  We want everything NOW!  We have email because heaven only knows we can't wait for things to arrive in the mail.  Especially with jobs these days.  The postal service couldn't deliver mail fast enough for the things we need to do our jobs correctly.  There's "fast food" for the moments we don't want to, or don't have the time to cook.   And lets not look past electronics.  We have texting to immediately chat with someone because again, who wants to wait for the time it takes to correspond through the mail.  We use Google on a daily basis to find the answers to our questions while online, and if thats not enough we have Siri that we can ask and immediately get our answers.  All of these things are of great value to us.  I often wonder how we would possibly get through life without them, but the one thing that these instant resources don't teach us is patience.
       Through the first few days of Brandon's post disclosure oh how I wanted an instant fix.  Who wouldn't right?  The pain was almost to intolerable to bear, I needed it removed from me.  Not to mention how was I going to get through this unbearable trial?  TIME.  And unfortunately when you are put in situations such as mine, TIME also feels like your worst enemy.  During a session I had with Maurice (http://www.lifechangingservices.org) he told me about a specific culture who lived in the "now" due to how many natural disasters their country encounters each year.  They never know if there will be a tomorrow.  He told me of a form of meditation they use to live in the "now".  Find a moment and use all 5 of your senses.  Listen- to what is going on around you, even if you think your in a place where there is no sound if you listen you will find something.  Smell- your baby's blanket, a comforting scent, whatever is in the air.  See-your surroundings, a flower blossoming, the trees turning colors, a cloud covered sky, look around you.  Feel-touch something, or feel something touching you.  Taste- whether it be the gum you are chewing, or the lunch you may be eating, just really taste.   I recall a particular moment early on in my recovery that I was having a very hard time and I remembered this exercise Maurice had told me about.  I was in the shower sobbing, I sat on the floor of the shower and let the water fall on me and used all 5 of my senses.  I concentrated on nothing else but that moment and those senses, and while doing that I told myself over and over "right now in this moment you are safe".  Using that exercise got me through that moment that day.  I have used it many other times when feeling unsafe.
        Sometimes time seems to stand still.  Especially when every day is just like the one before.  I woke up every morning knowing that I was dealing with the effects of Brandons' actions, they were the same actions that effected me the day before, and the day before that.  Those actions were NEVER changing and NEVER going away, they were forever going to be a part of my life.  And so time stood still.  How do I fix the next day so his past actions would have a different effect?  (Now thats a loaded, million dollar question isn't it?) I prayed more, read scriptures more, pushed thoughts out of my head and replaced them with comforting ones,  and most of all I tried to change my outlook on the situation.  I started to look for the positives as to why this happened.  Changing my thoughts from "WHY ME", to "why NOT me"? And before long my days were not as still as they had been.  Time was moving again for me, and without realizing it that "time" was starting to heal me.  Now don't get me wrong here, there is ALOT more that we all need to heal than just "time".  But time is a big contributing factor into healing.
        Heavenly Father knows what our needs and wants are, and nine times out of ten we are not immediately granted those needs and wants.  They all take time, and during that time is when we grow in strength.  A Warrior never became a Warrior over night.  It takes time, and patience, and the proper training to become a Warrior.  We go through trials in our life to strengthen us, to teach us whatever it is we need to learn, and to prepare us for greater things to come.  A sweet lady told me recently of her deepest darkest moment in her life and in her depths of despair her brother told her that "what happened to her may have been a tragic accident, but it was no mistake".  Heavenly Father doesn't make mistakes.  We are all going through the exact trials that we, ourselves need to be going through.  I encourage you to turn to your Heavenly Father during those trials, lean on him, know that he is there, and allow for "time" and the atonement to heal ALL your wounds.

Please take a moment to watch this short clip on The healing power of Jesus Christ
http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=3736551143001


I fight for all of you who are struggling.  May peace be with you

Lots of love,
Cherae