GRATITUDE

   

     First off I want to thank all of those who attended our Marriage Seminar whether in person or via web.  I was so grateful to see the room as full as it was.  I knew I was in a room filled with fellow fighters.  Brandon and I really appreciate all the support and love that we feel from you. So again a million thanks to you all.    
      
     Yesterday, our lesson in Young Women's was on gratitude, and I knew that I needed to write on that topic.  I'm sure its more for myself than for anything else.  The title of the lesson was "Why is it important to be grateful?"  I have on numerous occasions throughout the last ten months looked for reasons to be grateful in the circumstances that I am facing.  And although some days it is really hard to find them, they are there. President Monson says "When we encounter challenges and problems in our lives, it is often difficult for us to focus on our blessings. However, if we reach deep enough and look hard enough, we will be able to feel and recognize just how much we have been given."       
      
     It is very easy to look for reason to be grateful when things are going right for us in our lives, but what about the times when things are going terribly wrong?  I think that President Uchtdorf explained it well in his article Grateful in Any Circumstances where he says "Could I suggest that we see gratitude as a disposition, a way of life that stands independent of our current situation? In other words, I’m suggesting that instead of being thankful for things, we focus on being thankful in our circumstances—whatever they may be.  As I have said before, the circumstances we are in now, mold us into the person that we are supposed to be. I believe that there is beauty even in the ugliest of circumstances.  We just need to look for it.          
      
     Last night I was in one of those undesirable moments where it was just me and my thoughts.  Of course in those moments my mind takes me back to that dreadful email and the content it contained. As often as I try to push the images, and details that I received out, sometimes my mind freezes and I can't do much but sit there staring into oblivion sifting through those thoughts.  I was caught up in the  details of the things that went on with Brandon and my so called "friends".  The longer I was lingering on those particular thoughts the more hurt and sorrow I was drawing to myself.  I was trying to understand why he chose my "friends", and why my "friends" would do what they did to me?  During those moments I had the thought to look for the gratitude in that particular scenario.  Ha! Is there really anything to be grateful for there? I kept looking, and searching but found nothing......Until I sat down and started typing this post.  What I found was in the The Divine Gift of Gratitude talk by President Thomas S.Monson.  He said "This is a wonderful time to be on earth. While there is much that is wrong in the world today, there are many things that are right and good. There are marriages that make it, parents who love their children and sacrifice for them, friends who care about us and help us, teachers who teach. Our lives are blessed in countless ways." Reading that testified to me that despite the fact that I haven't had great friends in the past, I certainly do now.  They have been by my side through the thick and thin of this all.  There was something to be grateful for.  And in that same paragraph it said "there are marriages that make it" two beautiful things to be grateful for in one paragraph! I felt like I hit the jack pot with that paragraph alone.           
      
     I know that when I look for things to be grateful for it stops me from focusing on all of the negative that surrounds me.   There can be so much to feel gloom and doom over.  I know that I can't allow myself to sink into that gloom and doom.  It will over take me, and I will be no good as a mother, a wife, a friend, a sister, or a daughter.  "We can lift ourselves and others as well when we refuse to remain in the realm of negative thought and cultivate within our hearts an attitude of gratitude". Thomas S. Monson         
      
     Being grateful in our circumstances is an act of faith in God. It requires that we trust God and hope for things we may not see but which are true.  By being grateful, we follow the example of our beloved Savior, who said, “Not my will, but thine, be done.  True gratitude is an expression of hope and testimony. It comes from acknowledging that we do not always understand the trials of life but trusting that one day we will. President Uchtdorf 
         
     I have so many things to be grateful for, and in my dark moments the ones that I reflect on the most are my 4 beautiful healthy children, and the life I have been given.  I know that when we "set aside the bottle of bitterness and lift instead the goblet of gratitude can find a purifying drink of healing, peace, and understanding."President Uchtdorf 
     
     If ingratitude be numbered among the serious sins, then gratitude takes its place among the noblest of virtues. President Thomas S Monson

I fight everyday to maintain an Attitude of Gratitude

Lots of love,
Cherae

THE CHANGE

   

      In 10 days it will be the 10 month mark for when mine and Brandon's new life began.  10 months ago I would never have guessed I would be where I am today, let alone be where I am and still married to Brandon. Would I do it all differently if I had to do it over? No. If I had the opportunity to chose a different path for my life, would I? No (as tempting as it is). I am who I am today because of the events that have transpired in my life. I am a different person than I was 10 months ago.   I am stronger- I have proven to myself that I can do hard things. I hope to never have to endure something as painful as the last 10 months again, but I know if I'm faced with the challenge I can do it. I can do hard things. I am courageous. There are so many things to fear in this trial. I know fear comes from the adversary and although I do feel fearful sometimes, I have to remind myself of the courage it has taken to pick myself up, brush myself off, put one foot in front of the other, and hold my head high. I have found compassion where I never thought I could. Instead of hate and anger that I could so easily feel for addicts I feel sympathy, sorrow, and love. Although they are hurting their loved ones deeply, they are also hurting themselves with the help of Satan and they aren't in a place where they can even recognize that.  I have always had a really hard time taking ownership of my participation in arguments, especially when it comes to an apology.  Brandon would always be the one to apologize, just to get the argument over.  I now realize my part in a disagreement, or when I may do or say something out of line.  I have no problems saying I'm sorry now.  It used to make me feel weak and vulnerable to apologize.  I know now that an apology is not a sign of weakness but of strength.  I feel empowerment. I have realized that I don't need others to create my happiness for me. I also don't have to put up with any treatment from others that I'm not comfortable with.  I understand love in a deeper fashion.  Don't get me wrong I have always loved my husband but I can look back and see that the love I had for him had restrictions on it to protect myself from unwanted pain.  The change that Brandon has made in himself has helped to lift those restrictions so I can love him unconditionally.  I now have a desire to let my love for him grow.  My relationship with my Heavenly Father and my Savior Jesus Christ is stronger and more solid than it ever has been.  I have had to totally trust and rely on my Heavenly Father to get me though these trials, to bless me with the strength, courage, compassion, and love that I so desperately needed to become the person I am.  I have had to rely on the Atonement of my Savior to help me forgive others for the wrongs that have been committed against me, and to be forgiven of the wrongs I myself have committed towards others.  Today, 10 months later, I am a better person than I was yesterday, the day before that, and 10 months before that. I will be a better person tomorrow because I will have one more day of this fight underneath me, and one more day of growth behind me.
        Now I need to give credit where credit is deserved.  That credit needs to be given to Brandon.  None of these changes would have been made had it not been for Brandon and his life choices.  I'm not using sarcasm here.  Like I have said before I believe that the things that happen to us are not mistakes.  They may be unfortunate circumstances, but there is a rhyme to every reason and sometimes things that may look unfortunate to us end up being worth all the fortune in the world.  Fortunately Brandon's life choices have made him who he is today as well.  The "new" Brandon, as we call him, is now the husband I have always desired and the person he has always deserved to be.  He has changed in so many ways for the better.  I am hoping I can describe the changes in the way they deserved to be credited.  These are MY observations of him.  Brandon is real now.  He is not putting on an act, He is not pretending to be someone or something he is not.  Since he has been in recovery he told me that when he was in his addiction he wanted others to think highly of him.  He wanted to drive a nice car, wear nice clothes, appear as though he had endless amounts of money.  It was all about appearances for him.  He now cares more about what God thinks of him than what others do.  He drives a well used 2002 Honda civic, he still dresses nicely (because I buy his clothes for him) but would wear rags if he had to, and he is humble about his finances.  His reasoning for all of this, is because none of it matters.  And he is correct.  What matters to him now is his relationship with his Heavenly Father, and his family.  Many times Brandon's had an air of arrogance about him that was very hard for me endure when I would try to express my feelings of hurt, or anger, or lack of trust I had in him.  He has since humbled himself and has swallowed his pride.  He does acts that are of the Lords will and not his own.  Brandon shows endless amounts of compassion now.  He is now the one who has to bring to light that, I don't know what others are going through, when I may have moments of frustrations with them.  He is a "give them the benefit of the doubt"  kind of person now.  Brandon's temperament is completely opposite of what it use to be.  Brandon had no reservations about yelling at our children.  To the point of embarrassment for me.  I cringed when he would yell.  It was never violent or abusive, just very unbecoming of him.  He no longer yells, let alone raises his voice.  He is calm and collective in parental situations that would have caused him great anger in the past.  Brandon use to be selfish in only ways that I was able to see.  I was quite often disappointed in his lack of concern or care for me.  He now looks for and executes any way to serve me or our kids.  Whether it be doing the dishes for me, giving me a back rub because he knows how much I love them, looking for a special treat to buy the kids when at the store, or making the decision to write me an email exposing who he is and what he's done.  The later was his first selfless act in starting his new life. Brandon faithfully serves his Father in Heaven.  He strives each day to live his life that would be pleasing unto his Heavenly Father, always trying to do good, be positive, and serve others.  Brandon has, through his daily actions, emotions, and tender physical touches, shown love to me that I've never felt before from him.  I've always questioned whether his love for me has been genuine or not.  I now have no doubts about how much he loves me, due to his actions alone.
      I want to make it clear that  Brandon was never a horrible person, he has always been a good person, with a desire to do whats right.  He has ALWAYS been respectful (with the exception of what the addiction drove him to do) of me and my kids, and has always been kind to me.  I know all of the above negative character traits came from the addiction.  I now know that was never who he really was.  Addiction masks so much of a person, and robs them of who they truly were meant to be.  I am so grateful Brandon has been able to not only surface from this addiction but to rise above it and fight it.  I love my husband,  I will always love him.  I respect him, something I have never done before.  I am so grateful for his desire to do whats right, bettering himself, and therefore being able protect and abide over our family.  I am grateful for the spirit that is able to abide in our home now.
      Together, with the changes that we have both made I would dare say this is a recipe for an almost perfect marriage.  With Brandon by my side, I hope to change the world one person at a time.  Starting with ourselves.

I fight for the change in people to become who they are meant to be!

We are teaming up with Maurice Harker http://www.lifechangingservices.org/clinicians/ on October 24th, for a Life Changing Seminar.  Maurice will be teaching principles from his book "I'm not ok, your not ok, and thats ok", and Brandon and I will be sharing our story and things that have helped us in this fight.  We hope to see you all there.  For more information or if interested attending please contact Carol at  801-558-5952

Lots of Love,
Cherae

WARRIOR WOMAN

     The other night I was trying to get Brandon to understand what this fight has been like for me.   I really wanted him to get a good feeling for how I feel during this time, and for the things I'm trying to work through and how I'm trying to do it.  So I told him a story.  For me, analogies are a much easier way for me to really understand things.  So that being said I'd like to tell you the same story.  I hope I can retell it well enough for you to FEEL what its like for me and many other women in the battle stages of fighting for our family.

     There is a war going on right now.  It happens to be one of the biggest wars ever.  The enemy (satan) has over 7,000 years of war experience under his belt.  He is good.  In fact he is better than good, he is the master of war and destruction.  He has millions of soldiers on his side, they are all just as cunning and deceitful as he is and they have almost as much experience as he does.  A lot of the battles he goes into are over within seconds, him being the victor.  This enemy is someone to be very concerned about.  

     There is a woman (myself) who has been living a life that for the most part she has been pleased with.  She's happy with where she lives and has felt safety all around her.   She has a constant companion in her life (husband) who she has always felt would protect her if anything out of the ordinary ever crept into her life.  This woman had a radio (God) that she would listen to sometimes more often than others, and sometimes she would turn the radio down when she wasn't feeling up to listening.  She knew that if she lived her life right she would receive instruction through

this radio on how to keep herself safe from all harm.   She was aware that there was a waging war out there, but never for one moment thought that, the war would find her.  But it did.  And she was terrified.  

     She saw the enemy from afar, and wondered how she was ever going to fight this war alone.  She then remembered that she had a trusted companion by her side that would do all he could to keep her safe and help her fight the enemy.  She turned to her companion so they could put a game plan together but he wasn't there.  Before she could turn to look for him she felt the most excruciating  pain between her shoulder blades.   A knife having stabbed her in the back, she fell to the ground and started to fade, but not before she was able to see her companion standing there holding a knife in his hands dripping with blood.  As she awoke she saw the army on the horizon and despite the pain she was in she slowly, painfully stood up and did the best she could to brush herself off.  Her companion still standing there trough tear stained eyes, holding the knife, was apologizing profusely as to what he had just done and frantically asking her what he could do to help. Telling her he didn't mean to hurt her, it wasn't him, he didn't know why he was holding a knife.   This women now knew that she was now facing this army alone.  She couldn't trust this fellow soldier.   To her she was not only up against this giant army alone, but standing in front of her was what she now thought to be a trader.  She was alone. ALL ALONE.  No one to help her, to battle with her, or to save her.  She was injured, she needed help and she wasn't going to get the help that she needed where she was.  She had to use her radio and called for help.  

     Help came, but not in the form she expected.  She had indeed tuned into her radio, and the voice on the other end of the radio had told her to give her fellow soldier another chance.  She couldn't believe what she was hearing! She challenged him "but Commander, he used his knife to stab me in the back.  How can I trust this soldier to aid me when he tried to kill me?"  The Commander in his calm voice told her again to give this soldier another chance.   With the radio in one hand, and a look of sheer shock on her face she looks at her fellow soldier still holding that knife in his hands and questions him on what he plans on doing with that knife.  His response was something she never expected to hear.  He told her that his intention with that knife was never to hurt her.  His intentions were to stand by her side throughout the entire war, to protect her and to make sure she made it through unscathed.  But just as he was about to take her side his commander came through on his radio giving him orders to "take the woman out".  He was horrified! Debating on whether or not to argue with a commanding officer he politely responded with a "I'm sorry sir, but I will not do that".  His commander then started to fill his mind with lies about this woman.  To the point where the soldier was finally convinced that "taking the woman out" would be the best thing to do.  And so went the attempt on her life.  The woman was confused at this story and asked to look at his radio.  She noticed that it had been tampered with, and knew that what this fellow soldier thought he was hearing as his commander was truly the enemy in disguise.  She pointed this out to the soldier and he was immediately aware of the trap he had fallen into.  Sorrow filled his heart.  And she then knew that this soldier had been deceived by the enemy, just like so many others.  She made it her mission to give it her all and fight against the injustice this enemy placed upon so many of her fellow beings especially the one one she cherished the most.

     This woman came to realize she has a weapon of her own (the spirit).  She's had it all along and it has helped her throughout her life.  It is so small that she had forgotten about it at times, but it is a very potent weapon .  She can now use this weapon to help her in the war that she is facing.  It is something that she has to fine tune every day.  It is a weapon that if she handles with care it will get her far.  It comforts her to know that she can rely on this weapon when she has doubts about her fellow soldier and his intentions.  This weapon will help her to make the correct decisions in order to win this war.  This weapon is priceless.  Her commander gave it to her long ago as a gift, and knew that one day she would understand that this weapon would be crucial in the healing of her wounds, the trusting of others, and becoming a Warrior Women in a war that she WILL win.  

I fight for all my fellow Sisters, who's hearts have been broken, and I fight for my husband to be free from satans bondage.

We are teaming up with Maurice Harker http://www.lifechangingservices.org/clinicians/ on October 24th, for a Life Changing Seminar.  Maurice will be teaching principles from his book "I'm not ok, your not ok, and thats ok", and Brandon and I will be sharing our story and things that have helped us in this fight.  We hope to see you all there.  For more information or if interested attending please contact Carol at  801-558-5952

Lots of Love,

Cherae

     

     

     

MY RECOVERY

For this post I want to share EVERYTHING that works for ME.  The important thing to realize is that these are personal and that everyone has a different path of recovery.  Through this path that I have been on I have realized that everything I do on a day to day basis is what keeps me sustained in sobriety and the sobriety helps me be a better person.  I know that my routines and attitude will keep me on this path for the rest of my life but I also know that I have to do this for the rest of my life.  I am happy to do whatever it takes so that I can feel the love my Father in Heaven has for me and keep my family together.

My Daily Routines:

• Prayer - I pray at least twice a day on my knees.  I think that prayer is one of the most important things for me.  It connects me to the one who has helped me most in my recovery.  When I pray I focus on the things I am grateful for.  Praying allows me to receive the promptings of the spirit.  It helps me focus on what I am doing here on earth and allows me to realize that I am just here to pass the test.  Most importantly it allows me to turn my will over to Heavenly Father.  Turning my will over each morning changes me each day.  At night I check in with Him.  I tell him about the day and I am accountable each day to Him.  He is the best accountability partner.  He knows my heart, He knows my thoughts, He knows my desires.  I am so grateful for prayer.  I find myself at work praying all the time and even when in traffic.  I will say that with faith I have had all my prayers answered.  I know my Heavenly Father is there for me.
• Journal - I never thought a journal would be so beneficial but it is.  I took the advice from a good friend who made the suggestion of doing a gratitude journal.  By writing the things that I am grateful for it changes me.  It helps me focus on a different outlook in life.  There are times when I write how the day was or special experiences that I had but I still write about the things I am grateful for that day.  Writing is a great avenue to express emotions.  Each day when I write I also note how many days of sobriety that I have.  I typically write the day after so that I make sure my days of sobriety are accurate.  My journal has become something that I look forward to and I feel my attitude change each day when I write.  
• Scriptures - My commute to work is about 40 min in the morning and can be up to an hour coming home.  I have been using this time to listen to the scriptures.  I love being able to put it on shuffle and listening to the different versus and chapters that bring me closer to my Savior.  This has become so important to me that I do this each day.  Even if it ends up being for 5 minutes I still need it.  The scriptures are part of putting on my armor.  I have a love for the scriptures that I have never had before.  I have become closer to my Father in Heaven by doing this each day and trying to understand the message.  I listen to the Book of Mormon and the Doctrine and Covenants.  I enjoy listening to the war chapters and about the trials the saints faced.  It helps me realize that we have our own challenges at this time.  We are in a war and yes, we're being persecuted.  There is so much peace in reading the scriptures.  I love feeling the peace.
• Books - I love reading now.  I love learning and growing when reading about anything that helps me grow either spiritually or intellectually.  I was never much of a reader but find it very important for me to stay focused on my growth as an individual.  I also find it very peaceful when I am reading.  It is an opportunity for me to fill my mind with positive thoughts and then create positive actions.  The reading is essential.  When I am reading I can understand more about the tools that help me in recovery, learn about gospel principles and I can feel the spirit.
• Email/Text - this was a regular for me when I first started into recovery.  I would send Cherae an email every night and let her know how my day was going.  I still check in with her each night.  Checking in is vital.  It allows me to show my emotion and let her know exactly where I am each day.  This helps her so she can see I am being transparent and it helps me knowing that each night I GET to check in with my wife.  I do not want to disappoint her.  I also don't want to disappoint my Father in Heaven.  I have started this routine again so that she knows exactly where I am at since she does not read my journal and see how many days of sobriety that I have.  So, it is either a text or an email and I also let her know how important she is in my life and how much I love her.  It is hard for her to understand that I have always loved her.  Yes my feelings were masked but I have always loved her.  It makes me feel good knowing that I can now say without any feelings being masked that I love her so much and that she is so special to me.  She always has been and always will be.  Anyway, a text or email each day helps me focus on her.  She is part of my recovery.
• Find ways to create safety for my wife each day.  This is new for me.  I have just changed up my dailies this week and I want to do this each day.  Ask myself "how can I battle to create safety for my wife today".  Yes, it is a battle and I realize that I have many battles ahead of me. I think that everyone does in life but it is important for me to work my backside off so that she feels safe around me.  There are many times when she does not feel that so I am going to look at the train wreck I have created and fix it one piece at a time.  Creating safety for my wife is important for me and for her.  I know that as I continue to do this it will help our relationship.  

The dailies keep me in check a lot.  I also want to share what my check ins are with my wife each day so hopefully it will help others.  This is not rocket science, it is just being open.  Again, this works for me and if you end up putting a twist on it that is great if it works for you.  I check in with 5 categories; Physically - I state how I am feeling physically.  I could be tired or hungry or I could be sore from falling in a man hole (that really did happen), Emotionally - this one is important because it is when I realize that my emotions are off that is when I am being attacked.  Understanding this helps me recognize when my wife or kids are under attack as well.  Emotions are huge.  It is so important to realize where I am at emotionally at every hour of every day.  This is how the Adversary gets his foot in the door.  Spiritually - looking for the spiritual effects of the day or revelation or just an experience is important for me because it means that I am connected with God.  This is so important for me to know where I stand with Him and for me to realize that it is a gift for me to be here on this earth.  I feel the spirit when I am close to it so I look for it at all times during the day.  Yes, even at work, on the commute and all other times.  Sexually - this is where I tell my wife if I have had any slips, thoughts or temptations for the day.  I also let her know in this category if I have done anything that my Father in heaven would be disappointed about.  It helps me knowing that I have to report to my wife and if I have had a slip, she will know before I tell her.  I believe that women are naturally connected with God and with the spirit much more than men.  They know when something is off and can tell us before we even act out.  Sorry guys, that is just a fact.  Self Care - this is important because it means that I am taking time for myself.  It means that I care enough about me that I am going to do something that is important for me each day.  Some days are going for a bike ride with a friend and other days are reading a book or going on a date with my wife.  It does not need to be something that I do alone.  It is just important that I recognize that I am doing something that will benefit me for the day.  

Daily routines and check ins are something that were taught to me by a good friend who helped me get on the path of recovery before I even started going to any classes.  I am so thankful to him for getting me off on the right foot.  However, it takes one to really let go and let God for recovery to happen.  J and I were talking about this the other day.  One can go to class to show their spouse they are interested in getting help.  But 3/4 of the equation is really turning your life over to God.  It is my humble opinion that one will not get any recovery without the spiritual help.  

I fight for my wife's safety, I fight for her love.  I fight for the love of my Father in Heaven and I fight to feel the spirit each day.  I fight to help others along the way.  I fight because I want my brother who just passed away to know I am finally on the right path I want him to know I love him and will work hard the rest of my life so that I can one day be with him.

Brandon

TIME

     

        We all know the saying "Time heals all wounds", but have you ever really thought about that simple phrase.  I never have until recently.  In our society and in our ever present day and age we are a people of instant gratification.  We want everything NOW!  We have email because heaven only knows we can't wait for things to arrive in the mail.  Especially with jobs these days.  The postal service couldn't deliver mail fast enough for the things we need to do our jobs correctly.  There's "fast food" for the moments we don't want to, or don't have the time to cook.   And lets not look past electronics.  We have texting to immediately chat with someone because again, who wants to wait for the time it takes to correspond through the mail.  We use Google on a daily basis to find the answers to our questions while online, and if thats not enough we have Siri that we can ask and immediately get our answers.  All of these things are of great value to us.  I often wonder how we would possibly get through life without them, but the one thing that these instant resources don't teach us is patience.
       Through the first few days of Brandon's post disclosure oh how I wanted an instant fix.  Who wouldn't right?  The pain was almost to intolerable to bear, I needed it removed from me.  Not to mention how was I going to get through this unbearable trial?  TIME.  And unfortunately when you are put in situations such as mine, TIME also feels like your worst enemy.  During a session I had with Maurice (http://www.lifechangingservices.org) he told me about a specific culture who lived in the "now" due to how many natural disasters their country encounters each year.  They never know if there will be a tomorrow.  He told me of a form of meditation they use to live in the "now".  Find a moment and use all 5 of your senses.  Listen- to what is going on around you, even if you think your in a place where there is no sound if you listen you will find something.  Smell- your baby's blanket, a comforting scent, whatever is in the air.  See-your surroundings, a flower blossoming, the trees turning colors, a cloud covered sky, look around you.  Feel-touch something, or feel something touching you.  Taste- whether it be the gum you are chewing, or the lunch you may be eating, just really taste.   I recall a particular moment early on in my recovery that I was having a very hard time and I remembered this exercise Maurice had told me about.  I was in the shower sobbing, I sat on the floor of the shower and let the water fall on me and used all 5 of my senses.  I concentrated on nothing else but that moment and those senses, and while doing that I told myself over and over "right now in this moment you are safe".  Using that exercise got me through that moment that day.  I have used it many other times when feeling unsafe.
        Sometimes time seems to stand still.  Especially when every day is just like the one before.  I woke up every morning knowing that I was dealing with the effects of Brandons' actions, they were the same actions that effected me the day before, and the day before that.  Those actions were NEVER changing and NEVER going away, they were forever going to be a part of my life.  And so time stood still.  How do I fix the next day so his past actions would have a different effect?  (Now thats a loaded, million dollar question isn't it?) I prayed more, read scriptures more, pushed thoughts out of my head and replaced them with comforting ones,  and most of all I tried to change my outlook on the situation.  I started to look for the positives as to why this happened.  Changing my thoughts from "WHY ME", to "why NOT me"? And before long my days were not as still as they had been.  Time was moving again for me, and without realizing it that "time" was starting to heal me.  Now don't get me wrong here, there is ALOT more that we all need to heal than just "time".  But time is a big contributing factor into healing.
        Heavenly Father knows what our needs and wants are, and nine times out of ten we are not immediately granted those needs and wants.  They all take time, and during that time is when we grow in strength.  A Warrior never became a Warrior over night.  It takes time, and patience, and the proper training to become a Warrior.  We go through trials in our life to strengthen us, to teach us whatever it is we need to learn, and to prepare us for greater things to come.  A sweet lady told me recently of her deepest darkest moment in her life and in her depths of despair her brother told her that "what happened to her may have been a tragic accident, but it was no mistake".  Heavenly Father doesn't make mistakes.  We are all going through the exact trials that we, ourselves need to be going through.  I encourage you to turn to your Heavenly Father during those trials, lean on him, know that he is there, and allow for "time" and the atonement to heal ALL your wounds.

Please take a moment to watch this short clip on The healing power of Jesus Christ
http://www.mormonchannel.org/video/mormon-messages?v=3736551143001


I fight for all of you who are struggling.  May peace be with you

Lots of love,
Cherae